Why can't I???

Just yesterday I was prepared to die. Honestly I would like to die, I would like to get rid of all the pain. Oh I might just try. All my suicide attempts have failed, i've taken pill after pill after pill, that didn't work. I've slit my arms open upto my sholders to try and bleed to death, i've tried to drownd myself that didn't work either. Why can't I fucken die. Mabey I'll just jab somthing sharp and metal into my head just to end it all, but with my luck that won't work. I want to die. I want to end the pain. I just want my struggle with insanity to just fucken end already. I'm so twisted and fucked up. Why won't death consume me already!!!. Do I have to jump off a fricken 20 story building. Why can't I just die. Why........can't........I.......just........die.......