I Still Think Of You

I know we let go, but I still cant deny my feelings for you never did die. How stupid of me to say, I think of you every day.

Dear Heart

Dear Heart,
   I met a boy today. Prepare to shatter.

Pon & Zi

It takes a couple of seconds to say hello, but it takes forever......to say goodbye.

My life

She wakes up every morning looks in the mirror and dosent like what she see's. She wishes he what it felt like to be her. That he knew the pain and saddness of wanting some one so bad but you cannot have them. She can hardly stand to look at him at times because she is afraid she might burst into tears, but she wants him to look at her in hopes that he might realize how much he really loves her back but wishes don't always come true, but still at times she wished he only knew how much she loved him, but at others she wished he didnt know her nor she him at all. For she is afraid of how he will react if he knew how much she loved him. If he regected her it would kill her. It would make her life more worthless then it already was without him, but a life without him and knowing that he regects her is  more then she can bear. She is unsure, unsure of everything. Sometimes she finds him stareing at her and that gives her hope but when he is hateful it fades away. She hates herself for not being good enough for him to want her. She hates herself so much.

Save Me I Beg Of You

Save me from this awful place. Just take me away. I can't stand it any more. Save me before this hungry world swallows me whole. I don't want the pain any more. I'm sick of heartbreak, anger insanity and depression. Take me to a happy place. A place were goth/emo boys and girls can live some what happily with the regulars. Not get a weird look every were you go. I know that we are used to the looks and having people being scared of us is fun, I know that but wouldn't it be nice just to be excped for who we are and to not always be the person that someone suspects of doing somthing wrong. Not all of us are bad people, why can't the regulars open their fucken eyes and realize that. That would make life a whole lot simpler, eaiser and a little bit better. But we all know that, that day will never come. We will never be excepted. We shall always be outcast from the world. Everyone else will always hate us. But frankly right now i'm fine with that.

Why can't I???

Just yesterday I was prepared to die. Honestly I would like to die, I would like to get rid of all the pain. Oh I might just try. All my suicide attempts have failed, i've taken pill after pill after pill, that didn't work. I've slit my arms open upto my sholders to try and bleed to death, i've tried to drownd myself that didn't work either. Why can't I fucken die. Mabey I'll just jab somthing sharp and metal into my head just to end it all, but with my luck that won't work. I want to die. I want to end the pain. I just want my struggle with insanity to just fucken end already. I'm so twisted and fucked up. Why won't death consume me already!!!. Do I have to jump off a fricken 20 story building. Why can't I just die. Why........can't........I.......just........die.......

The Truth

I hate reality, it is a painful, soul sucking dark place. I choose not to face it at all. Every day I pretend I don't notice the things going on around me. I choose to let my mind wander, I let it go to a happier place, well you know more or less happy. This is a terrible world we live in. Everyone lives a lie. There is no truth any more every thing is a lie. Trust no one. I've gone as far as barley even trusting myself. Listen to me, what I say is real. Weither or not you choose to belive me deep down inside you know that what I say is real.